Et tu, Wyatt?

Just another day at the zany house.

First few weeks of school. Izzy has been trying to adjust to an uber-organized, high standards teacher. She had a horrible day yesterday, forgot her homework, yelled at the teacher, kids were trying to help her get back on track, but she felt like they were “bossing” her around.

We made sure everything was ready to go this morning, and I reminded her 17 times not to doodle and to pay attention so she would know what to do and to write her assignments in her planner and that she had to bring her planner, her folder, and her keyboarding paper home each night. Poor child. I didn’t really tell her 17 times. It was more like 17 attempts at delivering this information while she was actually listening.

So tonight when we said the blessing on the food, she said, “Thank you that I finally had one good day in the last two weeks.” I tried not to explode with joy and said, “What happened today? Why was it good?”

She said, “Even though I really wanted to, I kept myself from doodling, and then I heard everything that I was supposed to do, and I wasn’t confused.”

Wow. I wanted to do cartwheels all the way to Australia. Instead I said something textbooky like, “That was some really good self control. I’m glad you had such a good day. Way to go.” Textbooky may sound stilted, but it’s usually better than what would automatically roll off my tongue, so I go with it. I try to be really positive with Izzy.

Any how, triumphant day, and I’m going to roll in it! …Oh ya, for two seconds, because on this very same day I ran into Wyatt’s teacher and she told me that he couldn’t sit still for his reading testing today and that he scored rather low. When I said I knew he couldn’t sit still and mentioned ADHD in the family, she subtly asked if anyone was on medication. That was probably illegal. And then she casually mentioned that some kids just do so well with it…and some kids don’t. I’ve heard that before. Yes, I’ve heard those words before, Oh Wyatt, Wyatt, Wyatt. Et tu, Wyatt?

Do these teachers know that we are screaming inside when they drop these little hints? Do they know we want to just fall on the floor crying? Do they know our heads are splitting and our hearts are breaking? Do they know I want to say, “Okay, no big deal. I think I’ll put my kid on an amphetamine, also known as a psychostimulant, that may stunt his growth and cause sleep problems and can be addictive. What the heck.” You know, I don’t even mean to rip on this teacher. I’m sure that she struggles and frets with these “spirited” children and sees improvements when some of them start meds. I’m sure that she sees some of the challenges alleviated. I’m sure that she sees children who probably need meds and parents who don’t give them meds. I know she has her struggles too.

But for me, she has taken my dreams and thrown them in the river and waved good bye, “Hey, I hope it wasn’t too rough parting with your idyllic thoughts of raising this beautiful boy. Buh bye. Ya, new life paradigm. Get up to speed, Mom.”

What Is PDD-NOS?

HIking at Bryce Canyon. Amazing.

I'm compiling some info for our teacher who hasn't had any autism spectrum kids in her classrooms--or as she said, "any who are diagnosed."

•PDD-NOS (pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified) seems to me (and to doctors and anyone else who seems to write or talk about it) to be very similar to Asperger's or high-functioning autism.

•Individuals often have average to above-average intelligence.

•Difficulty with social skills and friendships. This can be the greatest challenge. They may want to make friends very badly, yet do not have a clue as to how to go about it. Identifying 1 or 2 empathetic students who can serve as "buddies" will help the child feel as though the world is a friendlier place.

•Difficulty using and interpreting gestures, judging proximity to others, and maintaining eye contact, all of which may impede the development of personal relationships.

•Because of an intense interest in one or two topics, the individual may talk at people instead of to people, disregarding the listener’s interest or attention. Although individuals may make efforts to socially interact with others, their unusual manner may leave many people not knowing how to respond. The person with Asperger’s syndrome may then be left misunderstood and isolated.

•"Swiss cheese" development. Some things are learned age-appropriately, while other things may lag behind. For example, a child may understand complex mathematics principles, yet not be able to remember to bring their homework home.

•Difficulties with transitions. Needs advance notice if there is going to be a change or disruption in the schedule. Let child know, if possible, when there will be a substitute teacher or a field trip occurring during regular school hours.

•May get overstimulated by loud noises, lights, strong tastes or textures, because of the hightened sensitivity to these things. With lots of other kids, chaos and noise, if needed, help the child find a quiet spot to which he can go for some "solace." May need to fidget or chew things.

•Unstructured times (such as lunch, recess and PE) may prove to be the most difficult for the child. Please try to help provide some guidance, a friend or extra adult help during these more difficult times.

•Allow the child to "move about" as sitting still for long periods of time can be very difficult (even a 5 minute walk with a friend or aide can help a lot).

•Although vocabulary and use of language may seem high, AS children may not know the meaning of what they are saying even though the words sound correct.

•The perspectives of the AS child can be unique and, at times, immovable.

•Can be dysgraphic and unable to listen to you talk, read the board and take notes at the same time.

Goals for the New School Year

Aaaaaaahh! School is starting soon. That was an "aaaaaaahh" of both excitement and dread. Excitement because I wouldn't mind ten seconds to myself, and the kids are excited to see friends and enjoy the fun parts of school. We are all dreading the not-so-fun parts of school. But I have some goals to help us all start out on the right foot.

1. Review IEPs and be on the ball to get accommodations going.
2. Meet with new teachers, school psychologist, special ed. teacher, and principal before school starts.
3. Create "Notes" for the new teachers describing the three most difficult behaviors they may encounter and how to deal with them.
4. Bring a beginning of the year gift/bribe to teachers.
5. Talk to the kids individually about their concerns and how we can make it a great year.

Let's see what I actually get done. I'll report back.

The Beach Bakery. Yummy, um, but not for real.